Brazen Girl: Brazen Series Book 3 Page 11

  This only makes us laugh harder. Beck manages to drive out of the parking garage and onto the interstate.

  Griff eventually laughs too, but I know we’re all just a little overcome by the absurdity of it. We can laugh about it now, but we know we can’t brush it off as nothing either.

  “You’re right though, Griff. She did go to Stargaze at least once, so it sounds like she knows about Summer and where she works. What happens if you actually do get a girlfriend someday? You’ve never had a stalker before, have you? Do they ever go away on their own? How does this work?”

  “Well I hope they do,” Beck says. “You know she came to the contest with her British friend Daisy. I was thinking Daisy might have been the other one harassing you.”

  That sobers me up pretty quickly. “Honestly I’ve tried not to think about any of it all this time. I convinced myself if I went off social media and stayed on the east coast it would all go away.”

  There’s a brief silence, before Beck says, “And if you broke up with me.”

  “Yeah,” I admit. “That too.”

  “But now you’re back in California,” Griff states the obvious. “You aren’t pro anymore and you still don’t do social media, but you’re in the skateboarding world either way. You’re part of our family now, Jordan.” Griff turns his head so he’s looking at me. “So even if you try to ditch this guy,” he says, tilting his head to Beck, “you’re stuck with all of us.”

  I let out a shaky breath, his words comforting and scary all at once. “Yeah, I kind of figured that out on my own.” My eyes meet Beck’s in the rearview mirror as I tell him something I haven’t yet. “For a second there, I thought about transferring to the same college as Wyatt and Phoebe. It was right after I found out I couldn’t return to school for the semester. But you guys, this place, it’s got a pull on me now. And I knew I’d be miserable hiding out on the east coast. So that means I’ve got to figure out how to deal with the rest that comes with it. Let’s start with the Instagram bullies. We got one pretty much nailed down. You think the other is Daisy?”

  “I don’t know anymore,” Beck answers. “There’s been no activity from that account really since the New Year. And she didn’t give off the same stalker vibes as Fliss at the party. Maybe she did lose interest. Maybe that could happen to Fliss too.”

  “What about the Shred Live episodes?” I wonder. “You said they’re making it look like you hooked up with some people on it. Have there been any trolls getting all fired up about that?”

  Griff and Beck share a look. “Yeah, I can’t even keep up,” Beck admits. “I guess I’d have to ask the girls in the show whether they’re getting threatening messages from any accounts.”

  “You haven’t gotten any though, have you?”

  “No.”

  Griff’s phone rings and it shows a picture of his sister on the screen. “Hey Summer, what’s up?”

  “You stateside?”

  “Yep.”

  “Yes! We just got off our shift. Can you pick us up and can we go to The Ledge to skate?”

  Griff looks over at Beck, then back at me for approval. “Oh yeah! We have to pick them up!” I slap my palm on my forehead. I can’t believe I almost forgot.

  “I heard that!” Summer calls through the phone.

  “Sorry, I have a good excuse for being distracted!” I call back.

  I’m sure she thinks I’m talking about Beck, but we’ll have to tell them about Felicity too.

  “Hurry up, we’re waiting outside!”

  I take a deep breath as we pull off the exit to get the girls. I still haven’t gone to a skatepark since I arrived four days ago. This time, it’s easier to identify what’s stopping me. Or harder to ignore? Either way, I know it’s time to face my fears and move forward. Hiding isn’t an option anymore.

  Beck

  My hands grasp her hips as I skate behind her on the pump track. I’m glad we came to this park. She might be acting more like herself but she’s not going after it like she normally does on a skateboard. Jordan’s steered clear of the bigger ramps tonight, getting her flow on the pump track instead. It’s one of the few places around with this feature, and Jordan’s always loved it. Because of the pump track, The Ledge attracts more BMX bikers, but it’s refreshing to have a different crowd.

  “Were you really considering transferring to Hooper College?” I ask, not forgetting what she said in the car earlier.

  “I did think about it, especially on bad days. But it didn’t take long for me to realize that even if it felt safer to stay on the east coast, I wouldn’t be any happier. Guess I’m a California girl now.”

  “California girl, skater girl, my girl. You’re where you should be.”

  Jordan catches air as we exit the track, and I lose our connection for a second. She glances behind her though, and I catch up, wrapping my arms around her waist as we come to a stop.

  “I have a secret to tell you,” I whisper in her ear.

  “Yeah? What’s that?” Her head turns slightly, and the feel of her breath along my collarbone makes me wish we were alone.

  “I’ll tell you later tonight,” I promise.

  “That’s not very nice, Beck.”

  “It’s the best way to get you to invite me over after this.”

  Jordan gives me that giggle that’s only for me. “That’s right, the lease ended on your guys’ place. What, you don’t want to invite me to your mom’s?”

  “Oh, I’ll invite you there. Or we can stay in the van in some random parking lot. Whatever you want, but I figured if I dangled a carrot it would increase my odds of spending the night together.”

  “I almost forgot how dorky you could be, Beckett Steele.”

  She turns in my arms, and I lean down, about to kiss her, before Naomi interrupts us. “All right you two, break it up, break it up.”

  Summer skates up beside her. “Yeah, we’re totally swooning seeing you together again here, but we aren’t the only ones around.”

  Jordan steps back on her board, putting some space between us. “They all look like bikers to me. We’re safe.”

  For a girl who ran from public scrutiny not too long ago, she’s pretty laid back about the PDA this time around.

  “I guess it doesn’t matter so much anymore,” Summer relents. “Filming’s over and the season finale’s next week. But I’m still gonna try to keep you two from getting yourselves in a pickle!”

  “A pickle?” I ask, not sure if that really just came out of Summer’s mouth.

  “She’s trying out new phrases,” Naomi offers, like that explains it.

  “I’m starving!” Griff calls as he skates toward us. “I’ve got no clue what time it is or what time my body thinks it is but I’m about ready to eat and crash.”

  “Works for me,” I say easily. I’m probably hungry and tired too but all I can really think about is being alone with Jordan. I’m too excited about being with her to think about basic things like eating or sleeping.

  I already warned my mom I wouldn’t see her until tomorrow, so after dropping off the others in Callaway, we head to Jordan’s new place. It’s a condo Lucy’s parents decided to buy as an investment while she’s in school the next three years. There are four bedrooms, so each girl gets her own room. The complex is nice, with a pool and a little gym.

  Not that Jordan gives me a tour. No, she explains all this before leading me straight to her bedroom.

  “So, what’s the secret?” she asks as soon as the door shuts behind us.

  “Can I at least kiss you first? I haven’t even kissed you yet.”

  She answers by grabbing my shirt and slamming her mouth into mine. My hand slides up her thigh, pulling it up and around my waist. There’s a live wire between us, the energy in the bedroom electric. We grab at each other, wanting to be closer. I really was only asking for a kiss, but I should have known better. Nearly four months of anticipation has both of us wild, and before I know it Jordan’s tugging down my pants and then h
opping on one foot trying to get hers off as quickly as possible.

  She pushes me back on the bed for her favorite position, straddling me and then sinking all the way down on my length. Finally, we both let out a breath. Fully connected, our mouths part as we look at each, recognizing neither one of us has truly taken a deep breath since we said good bye in Connecticut months ago.

  After a beat, Jordan huffs out a little sound. “Sorry, I had no idea how bad I wanted this, needed this. Man, I go a little crazy after not seeing you for a while, huh?” My mind jumps to the last time she got me alone, at her parents’ house, after months without each other.

  “At least I’m not alone in feeling this way,” I tell her as I thrust my hips, eliciting a moan from her.

  “Keep doing that,” she encourages.

  And I do. She should know by now I’ll do anything she asks.

  Jordan

  I can tell Beck’s about to drift off, and for a second I almost let him. But he’s the one who mentioned this secret in the first place so I don’t feel too guilty when I stop him from falling asleep.

  “So what’s the secret?”

  “Hmm? Oh yeah.”

  We’re naked in my bed, our legs intertwined and my chest half on his.

  “I won Shred Live.”

  “Seriously?” I sit up on an elbow and prop myself to look at him.

  “Yeah. That’s why I’ve been vague about my plans on looking for a new place. I’ve already got this giant house.”

  “Who cares about the house, Beck, I can’t wait to skate the private park.”

  He chuckles. “I figured that’s what you’d say.”

  “Maybe I can actually get over my fear of crashing, of being filmed crashing, if I can hide out and skate at your private palace.” I try to keep my tone light, but Beck knows me too well.

  He strokes my cheek with sleepy eyes. “You’ll get over it, Jordan. Private palace or not, I have no doubt.”

  Beck’s eyelids are looking heavy and I decide to hold back my millions of questions for later. “Love you, goodnight Beck.”

  “Love you too.”

  I’m not surprised Beck won, but it’s the first time I’ve let myself think about what it could mean. No, not the first. The idea that Beck could and likely would become more famous and attract more drama is partly what drove me to end things back in December. Why didn’t I let him pull out of the Shred Live contract like he wanted? I can’t remember my reasons anymore. I’ve since learned that my head injury really could have altered my judgment on all kinds of things, including that, but part of me feels like I never would have been comfortable with Beck changing his plans, big plans at that, for me.

  And now here we are. I know I want to be with Beck, and I don’t want to run or hide either. I even know, deep down, I want to compete again too. I want it all. I just have to figure out how to be strong enough to take everything’s that sure to come with it. I’ve been able to play the denial game with myself a lot, but one thing I can’t deny is that there will be voices like the ones that have haunted me, and that sometimes still do.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Jordan

  “You’re really not going to watch the season finale with us tonight?” Lucy asks.

  “Why would she? She hasn’t seen any of the other episodes.” Zora is lying on her back on a towel in the sand.

  It’s Monday afternoon, a little over a week since Beck got back. We’re at Coby’s place near Riptide skatepark. Well, outside his place on the beach, sunbathing.

  “I might watch it with Beck,” I confess.

  “Oh yeah,” Ellie says from her spot on my other side. “What does the star of the show do for the season finale anyway? We should have invited him to our viewing party!”

  “We’re having a viewing party?” Lucy asks.

  “Well, everyone at Coby’s is watching it, plus all of us. Maybe some other people too. So yeah, I’m calling it a viewing party.”

  “Nah, he can’t come,” Sydney chimes in. “He already knows what happens. It’d ruin it for the rest of us.”

  “Well, he’s watching it at his mom’s house with Griffin and their sisters. I think Moses and Taylor are going too. So I guess they’re having a little viewing party too, even though at least Moses and Beck know what happens. Actually, I’m pretty sure Griff and Taylor know too. But they haven’t told their sisters or parents.”

  Beck is planning to move into the house next week with Griffin, Moses, Taylor, and Brie. The contract says he’s sworn to secrecy on what happens, but none of us are exactly holding that contract sacred. In fact, I’d be up for a Shred Live contract burning party after the viewing party.

  Ellie sits up suddenly on a gasp. “Wait!” She points a finger at me. “You know what happens, don’t you?”

  “Uh, no, not exactly.” I know Beck wins, but I’ve got no clue who even made it to the finals or how everything goes down.

  “Don’t tell us!” Lucy sits up just as suddenly from her sunbathing position. “That’s it. You’re uninvited from the viewing party.”

  “But I don’t even know –” I start to defend myself but she cuts me off.

  “Nope. Stop. Don’t say a word. You’ll give it away and ruin it.”

  Zora cackles. “You always take reality TV so seriously, Lucy Goosy. We all know half the stuff in there didn’t really happen.”

  “Some of it definitely did happen,” Ellie argues. “I mean, the footage doesn’t lie.”

  “I still think you should watch all the episodes,” Sydney tells me. “And make a decision for yourself.”

  Lucy huffs out an exasperated breath. “Why would you say that, Sydney? I know you don’t know Beck and Jordan as well as the rest of us but just, don’t stir up shit when they’re so happy together.”

  “If it were me, I’d want to know. That’s all I’m saying.”

  Lucy looks ready to keep arguing so I try to intervene. “Look, I already told you Beck talked to me about how some girls came on to him and he figured the producers would make it look like he was messing around with them. That was before the episodes even aired so he didn’t have to tell me anything.”

  “Right, but weren’t you guys on a break then anyway?” Sydney asks. “So he didn’t make any promises to you during that time. Like, maybe once he realized you wanted him back he had to cover his tracks.”

  Lucy growls beside me. “Sydney, really?”

  “Yeah, Syd, what’s your problem?” Ellie asks.

  “I just don’t think it’s right you guys saw all the episodes and aren’t telling her anything. She’s going to find out eventually, don’t you think it should be from her friends, or from watching it herself, instead of right before she drops into a half pipe or something?” Whoa. That hits close to home. Her implication is clear. I’m unstable and eventually I’ll lose my shit and hurt myself when the truth comes out. Because I won’t be able to handle it, whatever it is. Goosebumps break out on my skin even under the hot July sun. Is she right? Do I need to pull my head out of the sand?

  Zora and the others are going back and forth, all seemingly looking out for my best interest, protecting me. There’s that faint buzzing as their voices start to sound muffled, and I recognize the feeling immediately. But this time, I refuse to let it bring me under. It’s time I start looking out for my interests too. My friends are well-intentioned, but at the end of the day, I need to decide how to protect myself.

  “You know,” I say, bringing the bickering to a halt. “You’re right, Sydney. I should watch the other episodes. That way I’m prepared if someone throws it in my face later.”

  All four girls stare at me in silence, and I can feel their surprise. No one knows what to say. Is it so out of character for me to confront this kind of thing head on? As I lie back on my towel, signaling I’m done with this conversation, I have my answer. Yes. I usually wait until it’s too late to ignore a problem before dealing with it. Well, it’s time to change that. It’s time to confront the
hard stuff before it takes over and gets in my head. I might be shaking a little inside at what I’ll see on those episodes and how they might haunt me. But somehow, it feels like I just gave my anxiety a swift kick in the ass.

  As I sense my friends exchanging looks and wondering what to do or say, I decide to let them in on one more thing I’ve been too scared to tell them.

  “See, I want to get back to competing sometime. And if all my competitors and the spectators have seen the episodes and I haven’t, it will stress me out. Sydney’s right. If someone mentioned something about it right before I dropped in at a contest, it’d mess me up if I didn’t know what they were talking about. Better to know ahead of time.” I say all this while lying on my back, eyes closed. It’s weirdly empowering, sharing my hopes to compete again. It makes it real somehow.

  Beck

  “Jordan’s not coming?” It’s the first thing Mom asks when we walk through the door.

  “No, sorry Mom. She decided she wants to watch all the episodes beforehand.”

  Mom gives me a sympathetic smile and pats my cheek. “She’s a brave girl. Don’t worry, she’ll see right through the ploys. I know she trusts you. That’s never been an issue between you two.”

  “I can’t decide what’s worse, you or Jordan watching those girls come on to me.”

  Mom laughs. “Oh, please. I was more embarrassed for them than anything. I know my son. You were just trying to get rid of them while remaining a gentleman. I’m very proud of you actually.”

  Taylor is behind me and I can hear him snickering. Griffin and Moses beat us back from Riptide and have already claimed their spots on the couches, along with Marco, Naomi and Summer.

  I really wish Jordan was here too. This last episode will most likely center on skateboarding rather than all the drama. After all, it’s only me and Camila left at the house. No one was expecting Camila to be the women’s finalist, but that’s part of what’s made the show exciting. It wasn’t always predictable. I’m shown just how unpredictable when it flashes to a scene the night before the final competition.